Otton Sarang?

With V-day squarely behind us, should the expressions of and emphasis on "love" occur any less frequently?

It's always been kind of odd when I think of having someone designate a special day for such purposes. Yep, yep, I've read about the history and theoretical origin of the celebration, but commercialism has really gotten in and steered things in its own direction, and the type of V-day that we celebrate nowadays bear little resemblence to its supposed nobler origins. When I walked passed See's candy overflowing with customers on the eve of the 13th, it was screaming "Big Business" and I couldn't help but remeber how the president of See's Candies recounted how they sell more candy for Valentine's day than any other time in the year, including X'mas.

Not that I'm knocking the whole festive occasion or anything. I do quite fancy the reds and pinks and goodies in all shapes and sizes of hearts - heehee, I do have this nasty regimented way of biting off one of the convex arcs at the top of each heart before gobbling down the rest. Old habits form for no apparent reason but die hard, huh? But I guess it is kind of nice for those of us that aren't too expressive to have an opportunity to convey those emotions to our loved ones, and then there are those busy or oblivious folks that may benefit from a little gentle reminder (or peer pressure) to show concrete evidence of their feelings.

Truth is...."love," - the quest to attain it, to define it, to understand it, to convey it, etc, etc. is something that rarely far from any one individual's mind and hearts. From the devalued form found in passing comments like "I love chocolate" to the true unconditional love at the apex, "love" and its many versions permeate our daily living through and through. In fact, I remember reading that Yahoo's top search for all of 2007 was the questions "What is love?" No surprise.

Don't know for certain why I'm thinking down this path. I guess I've been "off" from blogging for a while and believe me folks, my mind needs "food" as long as it's awake or it spins out of control deep in nonsense philosophy. Yeah, that's why I throw myself at work the way I do. It's all good.

During this time of R&R and peace for HRH, I've found myself grateful often. Grateful that he is resting plenty. Sleeping enough. Grateful that he is getting the medical attention that he needs. Grateful that he's enjoying some leisurely things, meeting up with old friends and loved ones, and enjoying some freedom and even some relative anonymity in his outings.

And secretly, in many ways, I'm grateful for myself. Through no fault of his, this YJ addiction of mine has left me with loads of unfinished business, important stuff thrown by the wayside, lower priority issues ignored, a totally organized closet, etc. etc. Haha, what an excuse huh? OK, OK - I was pretty bad before, but for all the goodness he brings me, the time slots displaced by HRH related things have been problematic for weirdo mishio who normally packs her schedule from sunrise to bedtime without a gap. Remember, this is the sis with a big touch of cyclomania. So yeah, I have loads of things to catch up on before I "crash" the next time.

So, what's better than him having a ball doing his own thing, and me having the time to handle my own things? Is it bad that I think this way? Does it mean I care/support any less?

You know, as a mere fan, I could never say that I "love" HRH. I may say that I "love" a certain way HRH moves, talks, dresses. How much I "loved" the way he portrayed a particular character in his works. I may say that I am affected by, moved by, even "love" some of his special character traits, and many of his multiple finer ways. But never can I truthfully say I "love" someone that I don't know. Call it semantics. But I know a lot of ladies who can scream "I love BYJ" and really mean it. What's different? Am I just a cold fish?

Here and there, I'll still hear random stories from friends visiting Seoul these days. Or from friends of friends, or friends of friends of friends. And I'm thoroughly struck by complete different attitudes of other fans. Some miss him so much they're still visiting Seoul as frequently as ever, marching onwards with that odds-deprived mission to catch a tiny teensy glimpse of him. Some write me and express layers of emotions and even anguish from worrying over him when he isn't visible. Sometimes, from the ground, I'll hear these little stories which pretty much amount to just conjecture about what he is supposedly up to that day, and I can't say that I felt a sense of ease or comfort to hear these things. We all supposedly belong to the same side of the camp as wuri YJ supporters, but goodness, who come our approaches are so different? I'm not knocking anyone, and no one is really comparing, but sometimes, I wonder if I should feel like I'm any less devoted of a fan for not feeling emotions that deep.

Guess it's all derived from that all pervasive issue of "what is love" question I raised before. It represents many different things to different people. A billion dollar question with no answers, or a billion answers, however you look at it.

It's funny. Even the brilliant HRH doesn't have a good grasp of it, it seems.

Does anyone watch the KBS entertainment variety show "YUNYEGA", I wonder? If you do, you'll know what I'm referring to. Often they'll include a short history segment on movie stars comparing "then and now."

On one of the delayed episodes we get here (originally aired in Korea Jan 12th, 2008), they strung together short interview clips of HRH showing his various answers over the years to the question "what kind of woman does (he) love?" and poked a bit of friendly fun at the evolution of his answers, up to the most recent time at the MBC Awards when he finally said "I don't know."

Such a short clip, but so cute. Haha, talk about coming of age. He's finally admits he is stumped too, and that's probably the best and most accurate answer he can give to this most complex question that no one has answers to.

(Sorry, I haven't enough computer prowess to get through the layers of security to prevent linking/downloading of the clip to bring here. But it was only a minute, and for really really motivated souls, it's available on the replay section of the www.kbs.co.kr website after you go through a similar registration process like you did for MBC with TWSSG. It was in the Part 2 segment of the show. Leave me a message if anyone wants specific instructions.)

Since we're on this topic anyway, anyone need a diversion?

Trying confusing the picture even further by mixing in the mostly unattainable images of "love" portrayed in fairytales fed to us by movies and dramas, huh? Yes, yes, I know it's a stereotypical tearjerking & heart-wrenching K-drama, but ahhh.....what is it in the genes of yojas anyway that make us such suckers for these unbelievable stories anyway?

I'm referring to "Bad Love" or "Cruel Love" - the recent winter's KBS drama starring Kwon Sang Woo and so poorly received in Korea, but generating so much noise in Japan, to the tunes of 3 billion W in export revenues?

It was actually this promo passage drew me in - no, it actually struck somewhere in my heart and and landed in the right place somehow. Do these words do anything for you?

If you love someone, you should expect nothing in return.
But most expect so much from the loved one.

If you love someone, you should leave your pride aside.
But most let go of the loved one because of pride.

If you love someone, you say the other’s heart is all you need.
But most end up looking at the reality.

You say your love has no reason.
In fact, most love for a reason.

Maybe that’s why God allowed the most cruel, painful love to the greedy

.

While your heart won't ever sway from HRH, if someone is looking for some drama diversion during this quiet period, pwaboseyo! (don't be misled, only the first episode has some racier scenes)


Anyway, I'm not a KSW fan, have never been, but in all fairness, he is soooo very good in these twisted love stories. Almost tailored-fit for them. And the words in the dialogues....Oh, some of the words....are so exquisitely beautiful, it would melt the stiffest of ice. I haven't watched enough to recommend anyone to watch it (unless sappy, melodramas distant from reality are your cup of tea), but for me, I'd say this: if not for the words, then do it for the OST, which is rockin' good. I am such a sucker for good music.

As a bonus, KSW himself sings one of the tracks (can you hear in the background? haha, ok, he's got some room to improve :p The rest of the ost is awesome (!) and my copy should have travelled half-way to my address by now! Yay!)

Now, when will "HE" work up the courage to show off his vocals for us, I wonder?